101 Ways to Annoy People
by Aorta Heartless
Summary: A list of 101 annoying actions is found. What will the characters do?
1. The List

101 to Annoy People

_Break time from Summon Bloodline and Through the Looking Glass._

**Through the Looking Glass is having trouble getting typed and Summon Bloodline is have trouble getting **_**written**_**.**

_So. From the list on our profe, 101 Oneshots to Annoy People!_

**Which this will, since people want a update on our other stories.**

**The List!**

**101 Ways To Annoy People**

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to produce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something  
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.


	2. Constanly Sing Batman Theme

101 Ways to Annoy People

Way number 1 Sing the Batman Theme constantly.

_Hermione decides that she wants to quietly rebel against the High Inquisitor._

**You mean the Umbit-**

_Yes _her._ Also she as the first bit of the 1960's Batman Theme stuck in her head…_

**Therefore, she sings it in DADA!**

Hermione Granger was generally a good girl. Unless one of her friends is in danger, then she acts if they don't exist. There were exceptions to each rule.

Obey your betters. Exceptions: Fudge (Minister of Magic) and Umbridge (Professor, Under Secretary of Fudge, and High Inquisitor).

Laws of Physics.

Matter cannot be created or destroyed only transformed: Vanishing Spell, Conjuring Spell.

Gravity: Flying on a broom.

Trespassing onto Government Property: End of OotP.

So when Umbridge banned all her best friend from flying, Hermione chose to quietly rebel. That and she somehow got the Batman Theme stuck in her head.

'Perfect.' The bookworm thought. 'If I can transfer it to a object and leave on Umbridge…' She would need help.

_**Flitwick's Office**_

Professor Flitwick stared at the usually well mannered girl before him. "Why should I help you with this?" He asked.

"It'll annoy Umbridge and her Minions." She said referring to the Inquisitional Squad.

"Hmm…" Flitwick thought. "Very well, the way to attach a sound to an object is _Audius_ then the sound. There is a limit of about 5 minutes of recording."

"Thanks you professor!" Hermione said remembering the spell for future use.

'Hmm… I hope she doesn't use it for evil.' Flitwick watched the quiet rebel leave.

_**Random Classroom**_

"_Audius_ *Insert Batman Theme from 1960's Show*" She said.

_**Umbridge's Office**_

Hermione slipped into the office of the DADA professor. She put a piece of fabric into the cardigan on the chair. "_Audias_" She whispered from the doorway, setting up the spell, it would activate once the cardigan reached body temperature.

_**Three hours later.**_

Umbridge went into her office, as she was getting chilled, to get her cardigan. She didn't notice the piece of fabric glued in.

_**15 minutes later**_

Umbridge was twitching the song was following her. Even when she was alone, it was still there. "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, BATMAN!" the disembodied voice sung.

"Where is it coming from?" Said the very annoyed DADA professor.

Two corridors away, Hermione Granger smirked.

_Crap, Now _I_ have it stuck in my head._

**Deal with it.**


	3. Drive Thru ToGo

101 Ways to Annoy People 3

Specify your drive thru order "To Go"

**Mwhahahaha! In the original draft, since then lost, it was Sirius, James, and Remus going through drive through at McDonald's.**

_Here by changed! Now it's Luna and Harry!_

**I love Luna. I mean seriously, she's less than sane! And so much fun to write!**

_Moving on! Chapter 3 of 101 Ways to Annoy People!_

"Next on the list, specify your Drive Thru "To-Go" Luna said. "What's Drive Thru?"

"Muggle thing." Harry said grinning. "We'll need to ride Sirius's bike to do it."

"Okay." Luna followed her boyfriend.

_**20 minutes later**_

"Umm. Yes, we would like… Two BigMacs, two large Cokes, and two hot fudge sundaes… To-Go" Harry said.

The box groaned. "Your total is $5.50. Drive to the second window." It said. "Stupid list of annoying things."

"…" Harry drove up to the window, paid his bill, got his food, drove off, and shared his food with his girl.

**Luna found the list.**

_Sirius made it._

**Rawr! Review! **

_Reviews mean even _faster_ updates._

**Very short... Next one is longer...**

_5 reviews before next update!_

**Said chapter is already written and uploaded... so 5 reviews=1 chapter.**


	4. Learn and Use Morse Code Part 1

101 Ways to Annoy People Chapter 4 Part 1

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

**Fun time! Couldn't decide between doing Death Eaters' Kids, Marauders, Golden Trio, or Professors to P.O. Umbridge!**

_So We're all 4!_

**Chapter 4 of 101 Ways to Annoy People **

**Learn Morse code, and use it in daily conversations.**

**Part 1: Annoying the Golden Trio and Rebelling against Umbridge**

"Why are we doing this?" Blaise Zambini asked. "Purely to annoy Potter?"

"Pretty much." Draco Malfoy said, looking at the booklet he found. "It can't be _that_ hard to learn."

The dark skinned boy sighed and started learning.

_**3 weeks later**_

"What are they saying?" Ronald Weasley said shoveling food into his mouth.

"I told you once, and I'm guessing I'll be telling again." Harry Potter said, no longer trying to understand the group of Slytherins that had been talking in beeps. "I. Don't. Know. Nor do I care anymore."

_**At the Slytherin Table**_

_Morse code no longer annoys Potter or Granger._ Parkinson said to her beloved. _But it still angers Weasley._

_Keep doing it._ The Slytherin Prince said, calmly eating his breakfast, steadfastly not looking at the red head while eating. 'Nasty table manners. Father would beat him senseless. Mother would _curse_ him senseless if he did that around her. _As long it annoys Weasley keep it up._

_Or until Snape says to stop_ Blaise said, continuing the conversation.

_He won't for a while._ Daphane Greengrass said. _I asked him. Actually he says to do it until it stops annoying Umbridge._

_I knew he hated her but that much?_ Malfoy said surprised.

_**Later in the Staff Breakroom**_

"You told them to do that." The Transfiguration Mistress said to the Potion's Master. "Didn't you."

"Of course." Snape replied. "Why? Is it annoying you?"

"No, no." She said, waving her hand. "As long as they don't write in it or talk to _me_ in it, I am fine with it. Though seeing how it annoys the _High Inquisitor_" This was said with great dislike. "I think it would be amusing for us to learn it."

"Learn what?" Professor Sprout said.

"The language my Slytherins have been talking for the last few weeks." Snape said leaning back.

"Truly, I'm willing to speak like that to annoy her." The small Professor Flitwick said.

"Small rebellion." Professor Sprout said. "Only use it during staff meetings, or when it's away from the students."

"Very well." Snape said smirking. "I'll get the book and make copies for all of us."

_**Staff meeting 2 weeks later.**_

_Potter really did that?_ Very few were aware of the fact that Minerva McGonagall was a terrible gossip.

_He may look like James, but his personality is completely his mother._ Flitwick, who had seen Harry Potter showing a shield spell to one of the second year Slytherins. _It may have only been a shield spell, but still._

_Completely ignoring House boundaries, James never would've done that._ The Charms Professor said.

_Hn._ Snape said. _If anyone else said that I'd declare them a liar._

_Really, Severus, Harry is Lily's child too._ Flitwick said frowning at the younger man.

_You can't see past his looks._ McGonagall said. _Can you?_

_You can't either._ Snape defended his actions. _No one who knew them can!_

The other Heads looked away. _True, we want to see his parents. Since Harry looks so much like James, that's who we see._ Flitwick said quietly. _The only thing that proves he mother was Lily Evans is his eyes._

"Such a pity." Flitwick said in English. "When I found out the _price_ of Voldemort's defeat, I think I was one of the few who wept that night."

"…" Snape was silent. He would never admit aloud that his information had led to his childhood friend's death.

_Moving on._ He said, no longer wanting to dwell on Lily. _What are we going to do, now that the Weasley Twins are gone. _

_What do you mean?_ Sprout was confused.

_How are we going to cause madness and mayhem without them?_ McGonagall said catching on to his idea.

_I have a few plants I can spare._ Sprout said. _Fast growing, but fast dying too._

_I know of a few potions that can stall growth._ Snape said. _I'd have to buy them though. She restricted the budget for Potions. I can barely afford the students ingredients. Assuming they don't mess up more than twice._

_I can spare some._ Sprout said. _The plant parts anyways._

_Thank you._ Snape said after a few minutes, causing the other professors to stare at him. Severus Snape rarely thanked anyone. _I was a fool. A cowardly fool for following _him_. I, I…_

_You wanted acceptance._ Sinistra said.

_This is not a time or place to talk about it._ McGonagall said. "But what will we do? Albus is gone. _He_ was our leader."

"Now you are." Snape said. "We continue as we have been."

"And how is that?" She demanded.

"Support and protects the students." He smirked. "In any way we can. Albus chose us to protect the students, and as such we should do as he wants."

"You've ne-" McGonagall stopped as she realized what the dark man meant.

_**With Umbridge**_

'What are they planning?' the Umbit- Umbridge thought.

_**With Sirius Black**_

"Finally!" Sirius Black cried. "She is ours! Remus, Remus!"

"You felt it too?" Remus Lupin spent a year trying to corrupt their former Head of House.

"What are you two talking about?" Molly Weasley said coming away from her cooking.

"Our dear deputy head mistress has finally given into her inner darkness, and become…" Dramatic Pause and a darkening of the room. "A PRANKSTER!" They said in unison as the lights came back on.

"Liar!" Fred Weasley said coming to see what the commotion was.

"After seven years of trying to get her to relax." Sirius started.

"And an eighth year for me." Remus added.

"We failed." The Marauders said dropping their heads in shame.

"But! Now, it has finally happened." Sirius said.

"How do you know?" Molly said as she motioned for her sons to get away from the two men.

"After a few years, you get a feel for this kind of thing." The werewolf said. "Her and Lily Evans."

"Managed to corrupt Lily much faster." Sirius stated the obvious.

"_You_ did that?" Molly said glaring at the men.

"Actually James did the corrupting." Remus said backing away. "Wh-why are you coming after me first?" He said, looking, begging, and not receiving for help.

_**Major off screen violence later.**_

"We'll be good!" They said, on their knees in front of Molly Weasley.

"You better." She said.

_**Back at Hogwarts.**_

_**Flitwick's office**_

"Now, Potter, that was the wrong thing to do." The Charm's Professor said. "The proper incantation is _Ohce_"

Harry Potter was stunned at the information. "Ye-Yes, professor. Thank you." He bowed away, stunned at the fact that the diminutive professor had helped him.

_OMG. it worked..._

**Told ya it would! Anyways. Very little on screen violence will happen in our stories... **

_Unless it's a fight scene._

**Fight scenes are fun... **

_Also! Our other story "Through the Looking Glass" _

**Next review goal is 20 total! Part 2 will be up when Reviews for "101 Ways to Annoy People" hits 20!**

_Since it worked so well last time. Reviews are wanted anyways. So Read! Review! Laugh Your Butt Off!_

**That sounds messy.**


	5. This is a PSA Not a Chapter

_**BEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! BEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP!**_

_**DO NOT DO THESE AT HOME!**_

**Several of the reviews have people claiming that they are going to do these in real life.**

_Aorta and I highly advise against it._

**Many **_**will**_** get you in trouble. Like number 13. It may not be illegal but it may tick someone off enough to rear-end you. **

_Which is not good. Really_

**16, 18, and 52 would **_**really**_** tick me off and would end up in me harassing you until you want a restraining order or we get arrested for disturbing the peace.**

_I've seen police do that! I'm pretty sure 55 is illegal, 52 will get you banned from most online forums, chatrooms, and other social networking places. 39 falls under "you break it, you buy it"__area. 38 would more than likely require you to _steal_ the tags. Which is illegal._

**50 would follow in being charged with Loitering. Loitering is generally against the rules. 11 will tick off the janitors. BEWARE THE JANITORS!**

_They control how clean places are. 25 is wrong… angers neighbors until they make your life a living hell. They can do that. I think there's a law against eyesores too…_

**20 would more than likely end up with a stalking charge. They are hard to get rid of.**

_Don't do 23 if someone's doing a headcount after a fire drill. It will end your teachers hating you._

**59… 59 would go under A) the "You Break It, You Buy It" thingy, or B) Carjacking… Even if you don't actually drive off with it.**

_So Please, PLEASE! Do not do these at home. Harry and his friends/family/enemies can get away with this is only because they are not _real_. Despite what some believe._

**This ends both the chapter and the PSA**

_**BEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! BEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEP!**_

_Next Chapter will be second part of the "Learn Morse code" bit. Still. 20 reviews to get it. Whether it is flaming Aorta and I for this or just reviewing chapter 4 we don't care. 2nd part is written up._


	6. Learn and Use Morse Code Part 2

101 Ways to Annoy People Chapter 4 Part 1

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

_We apologize about chapter 5. _

**But we thought it necessary. One person has decided to actually **_**do**_** the list.**

_We're assuming in full._

**Another person got new ways to get in trouble in school. It is very hard to get a job if you've been kicked out.**

_Therefore! We highly advise to, if you _insist_ on doing the list, think about what you're doing. If you think it may be illegal, or get someone else in trouble, do not do it._

**We will let you know what is very wrong, or what we think is probably illegal.**

_So, moving onto the fic!_

Chapter 4 part 2

Learn Morse code and use it everyday life.

_**1975**_

"What's this?" Remus Lupin said seeing an unusual book near the complex life to object area. "How to Understand Morse Code. Hmmm…" He walked away holding the book. "T.M. Riddle" He read on the back of the title page. "Odd. Madame Pince?" He got the attention. "Is this a library book?"

"If it is I don't recognize it if it is." She said, looking it over. "No, you can have it if you want." She said handing the book over.

"Thank you." The werewolf said.

_**15 minutes later**_

"Wicked!" Sirius Black declared, looking at the book.

"Dammit, Sirius!" Remus said. "It's mine, give it back!" He yelled surprisingly loud.

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" James Potter asked.

"I just want a look." The animagus whined, after his friend took it from him.

"Morse code?" James read the cover. "We could use this, Moony." He begged the werewolf.

"Fine." He said, giving into the power of cuteness from Sirius Black. "But, _how?_"

"Simple, we annoy the hell out of the Snakes." James pointed out.

"Hmmm…" Remus thought. "It would annoy other people… Like McGonagall."

"True. And Dumbledore." Sirius said. "Still, I think we should do this."

"…" Remus thought.

"I agree!" Peter said after hearing James' plan.

"You're out voted, Moony." James said.

"Fine." He replied. "I claim no responsibility for the consequences of this one."

_**3 weeks later**_

_But Maria, her rack, she has those things bound tight!_ Sirius said in Morse code. _Not as big as Bellatrix's or Narcissa's but still._

_Engh. I do _not_ want to know the size of your cousins' chest._ Remus said. _… I take that back. I'd love to know Narcissa's._ He said with a more than perverted grin.

_REMUS!_ Sirius was stunned.

_What? She's hot. Bellatrix scares me._ He explained.

_What about Andromeda?_ James said butting in.

… _Bigger than both._ Sirius said.

Remus and James seemed to blank out. James was openly showing his perversion but Remus was more subtle.

_Stop fantasizing about my cousins!_ Sirius said. _James? Remus? _"Lily?" Sirius said asking his pseudo rival for help. "Both of them are being perverts." He said quietly as she came close.

"You had something to do this." She said.

"Yes. Yes I did." Sirius said hanging his like a dog.

"I'll help. But I want those pictures back." She offered.

"You'll have them by sundown." He swore.

"Good." Lily said walking over and whispering to the pair.

"Oh sweet Merlin!" The pair said in unison.

"Why, Lily, why?" Remus asked.

"You were beyond perverts for a good 10 minutes." Lily said.

"…" James and Remus said nothing, instead turned to Sirius, or where he was. Sirius had proved that while he had been sorted into the Lion's house, being raised by snakes had put some survival instincts.

"BLACK!" They said as one.

Regulus Black froze. "Sirius, what did you do?" He said before slipping off to hide.

"All I did was have Lily Evans talk to them." His brother said from his hiding place. "Can I hide with you?"

"…" Regulus was quiet. "No. Sirius you may be my brother and Blacks may stick together, but there is a limit. POTTER, LUPIN! HE'S DOWN HERE!" The younger tackled his brother.

"Well, well, well…" James said. "Looks like we managed to catch our little runaway." Sirius glared in the direction Regulus had run.

_**Offscreen pain for Sirius Black.**_

"Ow." He said. "I'm hiding that book." He vowed.

_**20 years later(1995)**_

"How to Understand Morse Code." Harry Potter said. He grinned. "Hey, Ron, wanna annoy some Slytherins?" Harry asked a question that needed no asking. "You have to learn something to do it though."

"If it annoys Malfoy I'll do it!" Ron said.

_**6 weeks later**_

_Seriously Ron, why do you think I care?_ Harry asked, he really didn't care how big Hermoine's chest was. _Actually I found out Ginny's. Didn't mean to but still. She's pretty big._

_I am going to kill you._ Ron said lunging for his friend.

"Shit. Ginny!" Harry yelled. "Help! Ron found out and now he's trying to kill me!"

"Accio!" Harry found himself quickly at her side. "Sorry, Elisha, I kinda owe him."

"No problem." The dark haired girl said. "I'd do it to if I could."

"Potter!" Ron Weasley said. "How dare you molest my sister."

"I didn't know he could. Saying that he molested her means that she didn't want it." Elisha said.

"Who are you?" Ron said looking at the Ravenclaw.

"My name is Elisha Estraz." She gestured for Harry to get away.

"Get out of my way, snake." Weasley said.

"I'M NOT A SLYTHERIN!" She yelled, as she stalked over and kicked Weasley, bringing him down hard. "I wear the f***ing Ravenclaw crest you, moron!" She walked away from the whimpering redhead.

_Umm… Yeah. Elisha is ours. _

**Old OC from a long time ago.**

_Estraz's known-ish for being Dark. So, where do all of the Dark wizarding families go?_

**Slytherin! But Elisha is in Ravenclaw. No Ambition. **

_Great cunning, but no ambition. _

**Or courage. So Griffindor was out.**

_And more suited to Ravenclaw than Hufflepuff._

**She may or may not make another appearance. She will in Through the Looking Glass though… And her family. Sooo…**

_Next up is tapping your glass eyeball!_

**Which will be posted at 25 reviews. Payment for chapters is 5 reviews per chapter!**

_So chapter 5 will be 25, chapter 6 will be 30, chapter 7 35, and so on._

**And those chapters will correspond with each item on the list. Item #1 was chapter 1, #42 will be Chapter 42, and so on.**

_505 reviews is our overall goal for this story!_


	7. Tap Your Glass Eye

101 Ways to Annoy People 5

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

_Dudley gets his turn!_

After his less than sane cousin pried his left eye out of the socket with a bloody spoon, which had been used a few minutes before to carve out his father's heart, Dudley Dursley chose to have a glass eye.

He soon found that it had a way of keeping his cousin calm…ish.

*Tap, tap* Dudley got his cousin's, who had been stalking a woman with a silvery trench coat, attention. "Come here Harry." Harry seemed to teleport over to him.

As long as Dudley was able to tap his eye with something, his cousin would behave.

_**Three hours later.**_

"Are you sure you want those two?" Matron said.

"Yes, the dark haired boy managed to nearly sneak up on me, and the blonde seems to be able to keep him in line." Arcana said about the two boys. "Such people rarely come along."

_**Two hours later**_

Arcana's sister was being slowly driven insane by her sister's latest charges.

*tap, tap* Granted she knew that the smaller one would try to kill her if the larger stopped, but it was. So. Bloody. Annoying!

**Harry goes nuts and kills his Aunt and Uncle. Dudley survives due to help arriving. **

_YOU GOTS AN UPDATE!_

**After a month. Lost the file.**


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